While I was away, I fully expected my readership to drop substantially, and drop it did. But it didn't drop nearly as far as I thought it would. In fact, it picked up all of a sudden. Looking at the stats, I see an interesting story: I'm getting a huge number of hits for my piece on the Mahmoodies. It doesn't appear that anyone has linked to me. Instead, it's a whole bunch of search engine hits. Someone (presumably many people, since it's a lot of hits for one person for the same query) keeps asking about Betty Mahmoody and Mahtob Mahmoody and Sayeed Mahmoody and "what happened to ..."
What gives? Is there a summer English class or something with an assignment on Not Without My Daughter? Or is it just an inherently popular topic? And why haven't any of these people left a comment?
Anyway, Internet friends verbatim and skdadl left comments each, and skdadl complained (privately) that I didn't give her any feed, so here goes:
Politblogo: Without his daughter - skdadl: The summary of her book in that Speakers' Bureau link -- "tour of terror" -- certainly sounds like hype and opportunistic demonizing.
I also remember hearing about both the book and the Sally Field movie, so I'm grateful for this follow-up. Our reactions (including the Canadian reaction) to the revolution were clumsy from the start -- I also remember, eg, Kate Millett flying into Tehran briefly and lecturing Iranian women on how backward they were, then swanning off. More nuance has long been needed.
I admit that I didn't really look at the summary, since I was already kind of flabbergasted at the fact that she was pimping her story on a speaker's bureau web site. Admittedly, this may not be fair: a lot of people I support go on speaker's bureaus, and I don't begrudge them this way of paying the bills. And she wrote a book and made a movie, so why I am I surprised at all? But still, I am a bit queasy about it. It just feels...cheap. Oh well.
I believe Betty Mahmoody's account of her experience in Iran. While some of the account is inherently biased...it is from her perspective and thus is HER truth. I dated a Muslim man for several months who was born in Iran but was a resident in the U.S. (and probably a U.S. citizen). It is regrettable but the culture described by Betty in her account was very similar to the behaviors exhbited by the fellow I dated in the short duration of time we were accquainted. He was a habitual liar for which he exhibited no remorse. In addition, he voiced very disturbing beliefs such as holocaust denial....which I found to be extroidinarily offensive despite not even being Jewish. Although it is not "politically correct" there are serious concerns regarding the culture and belief systems promoted by fundamentalist groups in Muslim countries. It is important that personal stories such as Betty's are told...and I salute her bravery in sharing hers.
Posted by: Rhi | January 16, 2007 at 09:56 AM
Isn't there an underlying issue here that is being overlooked? First, let me say that I've never read the book, but the movie is one of my all time favorites. I think the movie manages to avoid some of the overt generalizations that are apparently found in the book.
I did feel a tinge of sympathy for Moody. After all, he lost a child. Then I saw a movie called, "Sorry, Haters." It touches on the Muslim man's fascination with "White women." If there are, indeed, many American women being held against their will in Muslim countries, then there must be some truth to this.
I have to ask myself why a man, any man, would marry a woman that does not share his strong religious convictions and his deep rooted cultural norms, and then try to force her to adopt his way of life and live among his family members - if not for very shallow, dishonorable reasons. It doesn't make sense. It is not rational.
If Moody, or any other man, buys into the the hype, obsesses about women outside of his own value system, and lacks appreciation for women of his own culture/race/nationality to such a degree that he would masquerade as something he is not, and stoop to barbarism to live out his fantasy, then he deserves whatever he gets.
All other considerations aside, Moody lied to his wife. He tricked her into going to Iran. He tried to keep her there against her will with the duplicity of his family. How can I feel sorry for a man that would do such things?
I applaud Betty for doing what she had to do to survive, and escape. She did not sign up for that. Betty Mahmoody is a hero and an inspiration for women. What a strong, determined woman!
This story is a little personal for me. When I was 16, my close friend married a Saudi, (with the encouragement of her parents that were seeing dollar signs). A few years later, after he had left her repeatedly, and for long periods of time, with two children, she finally agreed to go to Saudi with him. She had many fears and reservations. One was that he was lying to her and that she would not be able to get back to the states. And that is exactly what happened.
Once in Saudi, he beat their eldest child so viciously that he permanently disabled him. Why? Because the child would not speak Arabic. And after he caused the boy irreversible brain damage, he sent him back to the states to live as an invalid with his grandparents.
The last I heard, she had three more children with him, (a total of five), and, according to her family, all she did was pray all day in Muslim dress. I wish she had Betty's strength.
Posted by: Courtney | January 29, 2007 at 07:58 PM
Well, you ask about the hits, the people that didn't left you comments, so in that case I will.
Maybe you said this in a cynical way, but you aren't so far of the true: "What gives? Is there a summer English class or something with an assignment on Not Without My Daughter? Or is it just an inherently popular topic? And why haven't any of these people left a comment?"
In my case I'm here because the movie Not Without My Daughter is an assignment in the International Human Resources Management at the University of Puerto Rico. And if you do a search in Google, this page is one of a few that would appear in the search. So, expect a lot more visits in here about this topic ;^)
Posted by: Erzebeth | February 06, 2007 at 10:06 AM
Well, you ask about the hits, the people that didn't left you comments, so in that case I will.
Maybe you said this in a cynical way, but you aren't so far of the true: "What gives? Is there a summer English class or something with an assignment on Not Without My Daughter? Or is it just an inherently popular topic? And why haven't any of these people left a comment?"
In my case I'm here because the movie Not Without My Daughter is an assignment in the International Human Resources Management at the University of Puerto Rico. And if you do a search in Google, this page is one of a few that would appear in the search. So, expect a lot more visits in here about this topic ;^)
Posted by: Erzebeth | February 06, 2007 at 10:07 AM
I've just finished viewing "Not Without my Daughter" for the too numerous to count time.
It is enjoyable and interesting. I have not read the book, so I dont know how much of the story is correctly portrayed in the film.
I am however, concerned about the information as to how Betty & her daughter escaped. I would think it would be dangerous for the store owner, his sister, and all the drivers who assisted. I wonder if Betty ever contacted the store owner, or sent him money for his assistance, as he put his life and well being in jepordy and she eventually banked. No amount of money should be apporiate to rat out how she was assisted out of the Country, when, the store owner may well need to assist other women and children wanting to return to America.
Posted by: Sharon | September 29, 2007 at 01:41 AM
I have read the book of not without my daughter and seen the film and the book is one hundred times better. I would recommend to anyone who has seen the film that they would enjoy the book more.To the woman who posted the comment about the shop owner it wasnt actually him who had anything to do with her leaving iran he just provided his phone. It was also harder for her to actually get out of iran than the film portrays.
Posted by: Donna | October 28, 2007 at 05:38 AM
The store owner did indeed assist Betty in her escape. He notified his sister for help, mapped out the route, hired the drivers, and funded the escape. Perhaps there is another movie about Betty that I have not seen, and is different from, "Not without my daughter."
Posted by: Sharon | November 11, 2007 at 05:28 PM
I'm wondering if anyone knows the personal history of Sayeed Mahmoody in the United States prior to marrying Betty? When did he arrive, where did he live, did he teach mathematics in school, did he attend medical school in the US and where?
Posted by: terry | October 16, 2008 at 10:40 PM
the shop owner did not help her escape some other guy did. read the book it will make more sense
Posted by: llllllll | October 29, 2008 at 12:29 AM
The shop owner knew the sister of the guy that helped her escape. He overheard Betty's conversation on the phone with Nicole.
Posted by: Jac | March 02, 2009 at 10:46 AM
I have read the book and seen the movie, "Not Without my Daughter". I'm amazed that Sayed is trying to hard to clean up his image with the press and the world! Sorry, Sayed--nice try, but I don't believe it! As for the shop owner, all he did was let Betty use his phone. Amal (fictitious name) was the one who actually helped her escape. And how she met him is never revealed in the book. Betty needed to protect a lot of people when she wrote that book. Some of them could be put to death if the Iranian government learned of their smuggling operations. And yes, Betty did send Amal the money he spent getting her and Mahtob out of Iran as soon as she got back. The other thing that the movie doesn't go into is the fact Betty has two sons by a previous marriage that are several years older than Mahtob. The real escape over the mountains was in the dead of winter (end of January, 1986) and mostly on horseback and Betty almost froze to death. I urge everyone who has seen the movie to read the book--it will answer a lot of your questions.
Posted by: Napachild | March 23, 2009 at 04:13 AM
Napachild... the book revealed that Betty found the number with the name and number on it and couldn't remember who gave it to her...but desperate she called when she rain out of options. Thinking back I think the teacher at Mahtob's school slipped her a note..
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