Ever since I moved to the US (from Canada, if my non-Canadian readers hadn't noticed), I've had to make do without Clamato juice, and, therefore, Caesars. Bloody Mary Mix doesn't count, because not only is it way more expensive than Clamato juice, it doesn't have the fishy taste of clam juice, and it doesn't go down nearly as smoothly, and Marys are simply not the same. (Virgin Caesars and Virgin Marys, I don't drink the Bloody kind on account of not drinking alcohol).
But now I have discovered a new outrage: the Oh Henry bars are different. It's been years since I had an Oh Henry bar, so I decided to get one from the office vending machine. And what did I find! A vague, in fact inferior, clone of the Snickers bar. Yes, it has peanuts. Yes, it has nougat. But not only is the nougat not tough, it is diluted with caramel, and the peanuts are mixed with the nougat-thing. The chocolate coating seems inferior too.
Yeesh, not only is it hard to get fresh produce in the US (ironically, imported produce is fresher in cold Canada even in winter!), but it's also difficult to get good junk food. Well, at least US Taco Bell's are superior to their Canadian equivalents. But I think that Canadians just have more discerning palates*.
*Including poutine. Yes, I know that poutine is a crime against nature, good health, and culinary sanity. But Canadians know how to do this correctly and with style and flair. So a truly awful food concept becomes a brilliant invention. And it is oh, so satisfying in the winter. I have it no more than twice a year, usually after a long winter walk, because that's the maximum I can take without incurring the terrible negative side effects.
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